My Experience having Covid-19 - Part 01
While laying down in the dark & cold night alone on the kitchen floor... cold, uncomfortable, and scattered with body aches, cold sweats, and listening to the wheezing of my breath upon exhale...
I wondered at what point should I tap out and go to the hospital? Should I wake my wife? Should I call an ambulance? Should I drive myself? Would that be the last time I would see my wife? Would I go into the hospital and get intubated only to never wake up again?
Dramatic as shit, I know... lol if you know me I can often be pretty dramatic but honestly, being a medic for over 4 years back in the day I had worked in the OR and ER and I had even intubated people myself so I knew what is what like in the hospital and I did not want to be there as a patient...
In those dark moments my life would flash before my eyes. I wondered if this was the result of all the wrong I had done or maybe some of the bad choices I had made. I was so vulnerable and teary-eyed... so ashamed that it could potentially end like this. I have so much left to do and so many places to go... I have done so much but what is my purpose? What do I have left to show for in my life and what have I contributed to the world? After hours awake with thoughts like this going through my mind, the sun came up and I finally dozed off for a few hours.
It was a life-changing moment and guess what? Just like Groundhog Day the movie, it freaking repeated for days just like that. It's experiences like this that make you toss aside all the bullshit possessions or thoughts of money in life and desire only one thing... a chance to start over again tomorrow to keep living this oh so frail life.
These quotes moved me during the experience:
"You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass." – Timber Hawkeye
"Man sacrifices his health to make money, then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health. He is so anxious about the future, that he doesn't enjoy the present. And he lives as if he's never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."
― 14th Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ― Albert Einstein
“Everything negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise.” — Kobe Bryant
“Every moment is a fresh beginning.” —T.S. Eliot
Originally felt like a sinus infection, cold, or hangover
Doctor virtual visit
Lots of resting and beginning to feel fatigued
Sleeping started to become out of balance
Began Mucinex, Pain meds, Steroids', and Antibiotics
Tested for Covid-19
Started to get worse and could not sleep that night and the cold sweats kicked in and began to run a low-grade 99.5-degree fever
Felt like something was seriously wrong with my body and called the doctor emergency line to figure out my test results, they came back positive and I was relieved but also terrified when I found out
Started losing taste and smell
Felt awful all day and then could not get warm… took a super hot bath and my legs were like ice
Chills, lower back pain, and impossible to get comfortable or sleep at all
Last night was awful and the worse so far, I slept for an hour then woke up with cold legs and sweat all over